I do love a good dictionary definition, so here’s one for you all to enjoy.
Progress a development towards an improved or more advanced condition.
So for the past few weeks I haven’t focused so much on any type of weight loss. I haven’t weighed myself, measured any inch’s or tracked my calorie intake. Iv’e just relied on my knowledge of nutrition, the gym classes I take and how I am physically and mentally feeling each day. To kick that habit of obsessively counting every last calorie and noting down how much every exercise burns has been so difficult. I have so much more time in my day and so much less stress in my life it’s invigorating. It’s been a lengthy journey just to feel mentally ready to tackle a day that isn’t obsessing over every mouthful of food or drink.
Sometimes change or progression comes quickly and rather sudden but more often than not it’s a lengthy procedure and it takes time and commitment. Having the right people in your life to push you, encourage you and even have the balls to approach you about an insecurity that you thought was well hidden.
Something I didn’t realise I did on a day to day basis was noticed by someone this week. My wonderful personal trainer made a passing comment on something that I wear every single day and it took the wind out my my weird sails. Unbeknown to her and with all innocence she said
“It’s time to get rid of your safety blankets now Heather”
Pointing at the thin strappy tops I always wear under everything. (I honestly have about 20 of the things in all sorts of colours). I stood there for a minute and panicked
‘She’s noticed, how is that possible?’ thinking that I had been all stealth like.
Although to some this may seem ridiculous and Sue maybe reading this thinking ‘crap, what have I said’ but that woke up my inner chubby girl with a great big slap. Which was good by the way.
I’m not that person anymore, Iv’e lost that weight and my inhibitions. Iv’e gained in confidence and I’m finally at peace with who I am. Why do I still do it?
Iv’e figured that it’s not the actual item that I want to keep or hold on to, it’s what they represent in my life. For me its a particular piece of clothing, which I used to suck in the mountains of chub, which in turn made me feel safer. For others it may be a book they cant let go of, a negative comment from a passing stranger, a toxic relationship or friendship even. An old box of letters or cards that when we read it brings pain and sadness. Don’t mistake me when I say that lovely little keepsakes can be wonderful, they bring real joy and great memories, but holding onto things that have no physical, mental or emotion value, well, only hinder us. Right?
So, the next day I went to the gym in my regular gym clothes and without that pointless strappy top underneath. How did it go you ask? Well, I have never felt so self conscious in all my days, eek. Guess what though, no one had a clue, no one cared and no one even asked. I walked in there really sheepish but left feeling accomplished and secure in the knowledge that I was a step closer to overcoming that moment of anxiety.
What do we hold onto in our lives that hold us back from accomplishing what we’re passionate about? Why be the same in a years time? Fight for yourself, value who you are and nurture the voice that says you can!
Peace out xxx