I asked a few family members and friends who know me well to describe my personality and well that opened a can of ginormous worms to say the least. The words that crept up the most were determined, selfless and honest! Which, are pretty damn great to be fair but I’m not here to convince you how wonderful I think I am, to be ‘honest’ I couldn’t care less. The word that came top of the list though was ‘crazy’. I thought, I’m not that bad am I. OK sure, I like experimenting, being adventurous and I’m a tad mischievous but other than that I thought I was quite sensible. So I went and researched the word ‘crazy’ …
‘mad, especially as manifested in wild or aggressive behaviour’.
Wild I will take but aggressive? No.
I then thought I’ll research the word ‘passionate’…
‘having, showing, or caused by strong feelings or beliefs’.
My point for this explanation is, there are many people out there that can say were something, or that we have a specific type of personality, which in return could shape who we become. Now don’t get me wrong I appreciate the people around me a whole lot but sometimes there are those people in your life that actually don’t need to be there! Those people who are never happy, always have something negative to say and only want you around for a need that they have.
In my year of transformation I have literally gutted out my friendship groups. My family will always be weird and slightly dysfunctional but that’s what makes it fun, so they can all stay. It may seem quite dramatic but having spent years not being who I wanted to be for fear of the repercussions from those people was smothering me to near death. The minute I made the decision to say ‘my life’, ‘my rules’, I was right, those people didn’t like it but I just thought…screw them! I need to put my self first for my own sanity and for the joy and happiness of my husband and children too. They call it crazy, I call it passionate, passionate about my own dreams and who I want to be! I’m not selfish it’s about time that I have something of my own to enjoy. It comes down to having the right balance, of relationships, family, work, fun, practical tasks but now I don’t come last!
The one thing I am passionate about though as you may of read in an earlier post is weight lifting, it’s given me more than I thought it ever could. Not only has it made me physically stronger but its brought out a confidence I’ve not had in myself for a long time. It clears my head and having that secret competition with myself to keep going and lifting stronger just spares me on to ‘superhero’ level. The amount of people that try and say “don’t lose anymore weight”, “don’t lift any more, you will look too muscly”, well actually maybe that’s what I want, so please don’t tell me what I should be doing! I’ve had enough of that and I’m not allowing those thoughts in my head anymore!
I urge to to honestly think about what YOU want, STOP hesitating, START living and TAKE YOUR life where you want it to go! Your not selfish or ‘crazy’ your being what you want to be and what the universe needs! There are too many people who are the same and well what I say is…
Peace out xxx